***DISCLAIMER*** if you’re one of my friends who’s reading this and you think this is aimed at you, this is untrue. but i hope that maybe you’ll learn something out of this…
what is love? why do we feel it? to everyone, love is something different. it’s based on experiences, and how we’re brought up with it. this is how i feel about this subject of love.
i was brought up (and still living) in a christian home. my parents brought me to church, taught me about God, and i’m so grateful that they did. from the very beginning my mom told me to not date until after college. of course when i was little it didn’t really make much sense to me, nor did i really care that much at the time (i was probably around 7-10 years old). i was a very obedient child (and for the most part i still really am today), and i followed this rule. as the years went by, i started to see what love was to others. i began to see relationships start and end. i saw what the media told me what love was, but in the end i still followed what my mom told me, “don’t date until after college!” we (me and my parents) never really went through the “birds and the bees” talk. they knew i was a responsible kid and they knew that i’d learn from school where babies would come from anyway. all they told me was to not have sex until marriage, and that dating can hurt people, and the consequences of a failed relationship can be terrible. now, as these years were going by and i saw my friends mature, relationships were all around me. in elementary school, everyone was best friends with everyone. in middle school, there were few relationships (which obviously most of them wouldn’t even last)…but…oh highschool. that’s when you’re bombarded by PDA. ugh, i can’t even tell you the disgusting things i see everyday. sometimes i just want to go up to a couple and ask if i can hold hands with them or something. but i digress…as of now this rule my mom implanted in my brain from when i was really little, has stayed with me ever since. if i were a computer, it’s definitely inscribed in my hard drive.
in high school, “everyone” is in or has been in a relationship. i see the pressure from people to pursue that significant other…but in the end is it really worth it? is this norm of society really going to benefit me? i see the pain in a girl’s eyes when she recently broke up, or the hunched back of a boy sulking through the hallway, it all happened because a relationship didn’t work out. why don’t i date? it’s because i don’t want to go through that pain. who wants to feel the turmoil of sadness within their being? why would i want to go through the shame, and guilt of something that happened in a relationship? this pain, this heartbreak, it will tear at you, it will break you. i have enough going on with school and the pressure to do well (thanks asian parents) already, so why would i want to add on to the stress? everyday we see it in movies, tv, ads, etc, that having a relationship, having sex, will make life better. why would they say that? are they not aware of what people have gone through? how about the high probability of contracting an STD or even the ruin of one’s life? but something else that not all of us are aware of, beware of the music you listen to everyday! to many people, music is a huge part of their lives, whether that be just having to listen to one’s ipod everyday, or playing a musical instrument, or singing, the lyrics of a song can redefine a person. depending on a song and how you feel about it, music can reach into your soul. these songs about dating and finding the “perfect” girl or guy ruin the mind. i’m not saying to stop listening to music. i’m just saying that you should be careful of what you listen to because it can give you fake perceptions of reality.
but overall, stop pursuing! stop trying to find a boyfriend/girlfriend! you think that this will “complete you” as many say it does? to me, just trying to find someone to “complete you” is weakness. it shows that we don’t have a strong hold on life. why look for someone to “complete you” when we all have God’s love? only He will bring true love to your heart. He is the one that completes us, not the entirety of a significant other, or some other kind of physical act of love or satisfaction will do the same. of course once in a while i’ll think, “oh this would be fun if i had a boyfriend.” i’m human, of course i’ll think these thoughts, but my i’ll always bring myself back to my definition of love. i always remember that God is always there with me and He can do anything! i remember back in middle school, a girl who was once in my small group said, “i trust God and i’m willing to wait until He shows me the right guy.” God knows what love is. we don’t always have the right thoughts and decisions, but He knows right judgement. God will bring us the right person in our lives, and in this i believe.
now let me ask you, what is the definition of love in your life?